Teaching Maya - the first 5 chapters

Author's note: These 10 chapters are also available on Literotica, and I figured that while the chapters were up on Lit, they might as well also be on my blog. Enjoy! This is close to 20,000 words - a generous preview. If you like what you read, please consider buying the book and leaving a review on the Kindle store! 


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Teaching Maya (A BDSM Romance Novel)

By Tara Crescent

Text copyright © 2013 Tara Crescent

All Rights Reserved

Chapter 1

I had planned my seduction carefully. It was late at night. Ryan was alone at the pool - the rest of the clan had all gone their separate ways for the evening. I put on a bikini that was neither slutty nor unduly modest, but one that was both classy and that showed off my body to its best advantage. 

Unlike most women, I had no issues with my body. Unfortunately for me though, I had issues with sex. I didn't know whether my first boyfriend Anthony was a skilled lover or not, but when we made love, I felt nothing. I'd make the right noises, and move the right way, but inside... nothing. I felt like a freak, not knowing if it was him or me, and debating various ways of finding out, all of which involved breaking up with him, and taking another lover. 

In the end, we did break up. And it was okay. I was young and resilient, and he had never managed to reach that inner core in me. He was nice, but he wasn't necessary. 

However, I didn't take another lover. I couldn't really articulate why. I was young, rich and attractive; it wasn't like there was any shortage of available men. But the lacklustre sex had freaked me out. I didn't want to find out that it was my fault, and that there was indeed something seriously wrong with me. I hemmed and I hawed, and I threw myself into my work. 

In the year after I broke up with Anthony, I started hearing the stories. Women would walk up to me and ask if I knew Ryan Clayborn. I heard the giggles, the hushed chatter. Ryan was evidently very, very good in bed. Rumours would swirl about who his latest lover was. The tabloids would speculate, but nobody ever talked. Ryan never had any comment, and neither did his supposed dozens of lovers. Everyone speculated and gossiped, but no one knew. 

I don't know at what point I decided that I wanted Ryan to be my lover, and to coach me in bed. Without ever realizing it, I had become more and more anxious about my supposed sexual inadequacy. In my head, Ryan was the magic silver bullet - the lover who would cure my ambivalence towards sex, and make me whole. Post Ryan, I'd be normal, I could restart dating, and all would be well again. 

Fast forward to the annual Martinez clan retreat. Ryan had always been invited, and he'd been there most years. I hadn't run into him the previous two years though. One year, he was in the middle of a book tour, promoting his latest best-seller, and another year, I had to manage a last-minute work crisis. But we were both going to be at the retreat this year, and I was determined to seduce him. 

Ryan had arrived late the previous evening, but I'd been out with my sisters, and had missed seeing him. I hadn't seen him in two years, he was a world-famous author who lived in glamorous Paris, and I was working my way up the ranks at the family firm in San Francisco. But I did see him at breakfast, and I'd surreptitiously checked him out. Truth be told, I always had had a bit of a crush on him - he was an older teenager when I was a child, and even then, he'd always been surrounded by girls. To me then, Ryan had represented the all the promise and freedom of adulthood.

As a teenager, he had no time for an annoying little girl. Now though, I was determined that things would be different. 

Once I put on my bikini, I went downstairs, and grabbed a bottle of chilled white wine and two glasses. The night was dark and still. The air was redolent with the smell of jasmine; vines of it grew all around the garden. In the background, I could hear the distant but hypnotic sound of ocean waves. Everything was oddly hypnotic. I felt removed from my body; I was almost on auto-pilot. 

I made my way down the curved pathway that led through the gardens to the pool. As I had guessed, Ryan was alone, swimming restless laps in the pool. His swimming had masked the sound of my steps, and I stood watching him for a silent minute, until he turned and saw me. 

“Maya. How long have you been there?”

His voice was light and friendly. 

“I just got here,” I lied. “Wanted to chill out in the hot tub for a bit. Want to join me?” I raised the wine bottle so he'd see it. “I brought two glasses...”

“So you did...” he said easily.  “Sure, wine sounds pretty good right now.” He pulled himself out of the pool as I waited. It was hard not to stare. Ryan was lean, hard and utterly sexy. Drops of water ran down his body, past sculpted abs, and made their way lower. “He really does have the perfect amount of chest hair,” I thought. My gaze followed that strip of hair lower until it settled on that spot where the hair disappeared into his trunks.

“Maya?”

I roused myself, mortified. I'd been staring like an imbecile. “Sorry,” I mumbled. “Got distracted. Long day. Hot tub.” My cheeks were flushed with embarrassment, I was babbling. I quickly walked towards the hot tub that was next to the pool, and lowered myself into the water, setting the wine and glasses on the edge of the tub.

Ryan followed me, and settled himself across from me.  ”Shall I pour?” he asked, and got up, reaching for the wine. His thigh brushed against my knee, and the contact sent my pulse racing. “You okay?” he asked, handing me a cool glass of wine. 

I nodded, not really trusting myself to speak. I took a sip of the wine, hoping for the courage I needed to make my move. The wine was a cool contrast to the heat of the water, and the heat pounding in my veins.

“So, Maya... I didn't really get a chance to speak to you at breakfast. I haven't seen you in years, how have you been?”

“Good,” I said, striving to keep my voice as light and casual as his. “Work's been busy, mostly. I read your new book, by the way...”

“What'd you think?” Ryan asked. 

“I loved it.” I answered honestly. “It was brilliant. It made me cry a bit though...”

He smiled. “Writers love when their readers tell them they cried, you know... Our job is to make you feel...”

Yes! He'd fed me the perfect opening. I gathered all my courage; it was now or never. “Really?” I purred, as I used my right foot to very lightly stroke his leg. I looked at him, the need in my eyes obvious. 

The mood changed instantly. He stilled. His eyes were expressionless, but his hand tightened just a little bit around the wine glass. 

“Growing up quickly, Maya? This is an adult game you are playing...” 

“I'm twenty-one, Ryan,” I responded.  ”All grown up.”   

His eyes slid mockingly up my body, lingering on my breasts, not quite covered by the water in the hot tub. 

“I don't play games, Maya. I play hard. I expect my lovers do as I tell them. This isn't a young girl's game, okay?” His voice was harsh, casual no more. His eyes met mine. They were still expressionless. 

“What does that mean?” I asked softly. Need was coursing through my blood and my heart was pounding. 

He looked at me. “I like to play hard, Maya. Whips. Canes. Handcuffs. If you want to play, you play by my rules.”

I gulped. I don't know what I had expected this encounter to be, but this wasn't it. I guess I had thought it would be easier. That's we'd sleep together one night, maybe two, and abracadabra, like some kind of magic switch, I'd feel sexual. Instead, this sounded... intense. 

And yet. Need was coursing through my blood, my heart was pounding in rhythm with the sound of waves in the distance. Jasmine scented the air. 

I raised my head. I looked into his eyes. I took the step forward from which there was no going back.

“Let's play.” I said clearly. 

Chapter 2

The words lingered in the air. “Let’s play.” I had said, moments earlier. I sneaked a look at Ryan, trying to gauge his reaction.

There was a tightness around his eyes, and his grip on the wine glass had not eased. But mostly, Ryan just looked amused. “In that case, have dinner with me tomorrow night, Maya? 6 pm.” It wasn't an order, not just yet. But it was clear to me. Dinner at six tomorrow, and we would play this crazy little game I'd set in motion. But he had given me until six tomorrow night to change my mind.  

There was still the better part of a bottle of wine left, and the heat of the water in the hot tub was a perfect contrast to the very slight chill that had invaded the air. I didn't know what to do next, whether to stay or go. Ryan took matters out of my hands though, by leaning forward once again, and re-filling my glass. 

“Tell me about yourself, Maya. I haven't seen you in what, two years? Fill me in.” His voice was, once again, light and casual. Having arranged the next step in our little sexual interlude, Ryan was evidently once again in full control of himself. 

I wasn't quite as successful, but I did my best to calm down. Even when I was a young child, Ryan had always made me a bit nervous. But his gaze across the hot tub was both sincere and warm, and I found myself starting to relax. 

“What do you want to know?” I asked him. 

“Work. Hobbies. Interests. Boyfriends. Pets. It's all fair game, you know.” There was humour in his voice. 

Of course an author would be endlessly interested in people, I realized. It was probably the first time in my entire life that I'd ever thought of Ryan as a person. When I was a child, he had been the handsome teenager that I had had a painful crush on. In the last year, he'd been the object of an obsession. But at this moment, sitting companionably with him in the hot tub, it dawned on me that I was probably having my first ever real conversation with him. 

“Lots of work, of course. Neither Ivar nor Marco are the type to let me slack off.” Ivar was my uncle, the CEO of the Martinez empire; Marco was my cousin. “There's no such thing as a trust fund kid in the Martinez clan, I'm afraid.”

Ryan nodded in understanding. He'd grown up with Ivar; they were the best of friends. Ivar did not tolerate slacking off. “Do you like working in the family business?” he asked. “Your sisters don't work there.”

“Workload aside, I love it.” I leaned forward, animated. “It's fun, and I'm good at it. Good at math, good at business. And Ivar and Marco - I learn so much from them. It's endlessly fascinating.”

“And San Francisco? Good city to live in?” 

“Well, it isn't Paris, of course...” I was curious about Ryan. “Why do you live in Paris, Ryan? Why not San Francisco, or here, or anywhere else?” 

Ryan laughed. “Honestly, it's a bit ridiculous. When I was a kid, I dreamed of being a starving artist in Paris, living in a garret somewhere. I'm not a starving artist, fortunately, but I cling to the Paris portion of that dream.” 

“Not to mention, French women are really hot.” I wanted to bite my tongue the moment I said it. I sounded like a shrew, jealous and juvenile. 

“Mmm.” Ryan made just that one non-committal noise. I couldn't tell what he was thinking. “I notice you haven't mentioned boyfriends. Are you a virgin?”

I choked on my wine. Once the coughing subsided, I thought carefully about how to answer. “I dated someone for almost a year, and we broke up a year ago. And no, not a virgin, I'm afraid.” Was this a deal-breaker? Ryan was certainly no virgin, and I hated double-standards in men. 

“Good.” Ryan said shortly. “I prefer sleeping with women who know what they are doing...”   

I sipped my wine in silence. With Anthony, it was clear that I didn't know what I was doing, and I was hoping Ryan would teach me. But it sounded like teaching was the last thing Ryan wanted to do. For the first time that evening, I wanted to call the entire thing off. I desperately wanted to measure up to the sophisticated women that Ryan normally slept with, and I was certain I wouldn't. 

I rose abruptly. “I'm going to bed,” I mumbled, and fled. 

**************

Ryan looked at Maya's retreating figure in some confusion. He wasn't quite sure what he'd said, but it had sent her running.

He took a sip of wine, and thought a bit about the situation. He should have shot her down right at the start, but truth be told, he had been both intrigued and turned on. She was young, but in the two years since he'd last seen her, she'd blossomed into an attractive, self-possessed young woman.

On the other hand, she was a Martinez. Ryan would never do anything to hurt Ivar's parents. They'd taken him in when his mother had died, rescued him from the streets, and they had treated him like one of their own.

Sleeping with Maya was okay, but if she got hurt? That would be unforgivable. He could bed Maya, but there could be no emotional involvement.

**************

I slept poorly that night. My dreams were sexual in nature, something that had never happened before. In them, Ryan leaned forward and kissed me, his hands parting my thighs. I started moaning and pushing myself against him, but then Ryan changed to Anthony, who laughed at my arousal. “No!” I yelled at him. “Where's Ryan? I want Ryan!” I wandered through the gardens, shouting his name, with Anthony following me all the while, mocking my need. It was a terrible night, and by the time dawn had rolled around, I was exhausted and emotionally drained.

Although it was a family norm to eat breakfast together, I couldn't face anyone today, especially not Ryan. It was still early, no one was stirring. I slipped my running shoes on, left a quick note excusing myself from breakfast, and went for a long run.

Running always calmed me. In five minutes, my breathing had steadied; in ten minutes, my thoughts stopped swirling around in my head. “The plan is still the same; it's the little details that are different...” I told myself sternly. “You are clearly attracted to Ryan. You just need to know if you'll respond to him sexually. Because if you do, then there's nothing wrong with you, Anthony just wasn't the guy.” My feet pounded the curb, as I reasoned the situation out with myself. “And the whips and other stuff?” I asked myself, but in truth, I wasn't concerned. Ryan was never going to do something I didn't want him to. I wasn't sure of many things right then, but that was the one thing I was sure of; I trusted Ryan completely.

I dressed carefully for my dinner date with Ryan. Was it even a dinner date? I didn't know. I had no idea what was in store for the evening. But I wore a pale yellow dress that I loved. The front was plain, but the dress was backless, with a thin gold chain crisscrossing the back to hold the dress in place. “Whips and chains,” I thought and giggled. I never really used much makeup, just some eye-liner and mascara, a hint of bronzer and some lip gloss, and I was ready.

We hadn't discussed where to meet. I assumed I'd find Ryan in the big family room where most people tended to congregate, and I headed there. Before I got there though, I ran into Ivar, who raised his eyebrow at the sight of me. “Ryan mentioned you two were going to try the new Thai restaurant in town?” he said. “I ran into him just now, he's waiting outside.”

“Thanks, Ivar.” I said. Although Ivar was technically my uncle, he was not that much older, and was much more like a big brother. Ivar was great. He was a hard boss, but he'd never interfered in my personal life. If he was curious about why Ryan and I were going out to dinner, he didn't mention it.

In general, the two weeks of the family retreat were filled with relaxation. We lounged on the beach, played games of tennis, ate meals together and caught up. Since we didn't often leave the estate, most of us didn't bother getting a car. There was always a rental car or two around to be borrowed.

Ryan was waiting outside, standing next to a car. But this car definitely wasn't one of the rentals; it was a beautiful old Porsche 911. Bright orange, in perfect condition, this car had to be at least 30 years old. “This can't be a rental,” I commented.

Ryan smiled. “Nope, it's my car. It's been in the shop for a few months now, lots of body work, new paint job, but it's finally done. Inaugural ride, Maya, ready?”

He held the door open for me, and I lowered myself in. The seats were low to the ground, and my dress slid up my thighs as I tried to get in with a modicum of grace. I don't think I succeeded; Ryan's lips twitched with amusement as he shut the door and swung around to the driver's side.

“Ivar thought we were going to a new Thai place?” I asked. I wasn't subtle at all; I was trying to figure out what the plan for the evening was.

“We are,” Ryan said, as he started the car. I'd never been in a car with him. He drove with the same calm competence that he seemed to do everything else with. I wondered if he'd be standing over me with a whip with the same calm. Would I be moaning in arousal while he watched with his customary detachment?

Ryan was quiet while he drove, and I was lost in my own thoughts. I didn't realize we'd arrived until we turned to pull into the restaurant's parking lot. I shook my head slightly to clear it, and looked around. The smell of ocean salt was in the air, and the sound of the waves much closer.

“You look lovely tonight...”

I looked at him quickly. A compliment from Ryan Clayborn was a rare thing. I mumbled my thanks.

His hand cupped the small of my back, and his fingers brushed against the chain. “Nice...” he remarked appreciatively. “I can think of many things to do with this...” I blushed in the gathering twilight. His hand was warm against my back, and his fingers were now stroking my back very lightly. It was incredibly erotic, and I was instantly wet. Another first for me.

We were seated outside by a young waitress who could not take her eyes off Ryan. To his credit, Ryan didn't appear to notice. We quickly placed our drink orders, she wandered off to fill them, and we were alone at last, for the first time since last night.

“Maya. Ground rules first, okay?”

I gulped. It was starting.

“Just one. I don't do relationships. I don't want a girlfriend.”

I nodded. This was no surprise, in all the years I'd known Ryan, he'd never mentioned a girlfriend. Women always threw themselves at him, and while he was happy to play along, it was always on his terms.

Ryan looked a little relieved, as he continued. “Good. Now how much do you know about the whole BDSM thing, and do you have any questions?”

I had spent my day doing some discreet Internet browsing. It had been eye-opening and somewhat terrifying. Had it been anyone other than Ryan suggesting this, I would have run, screaming. I had known Ryan all my life though, and I trusted him.

I asked the question that was uppermost in my mind. “Are you looking for a slave?”

He burst out laughing. The waitress chose that moment to appear with our drinks, and I seized mine, mortified. I don't know what reaction I was expecting, but mirth wasn't it. With effort, Ryan sobered up, and we both placed our dinner orders. Once the waitress had retreated, he continued, eyes dancing with amusement. “I'm assuming you spent some time on the Internet? I'm not saying there aren't people who are into the whole slave thing, but it's probably much more the kind of thing that people fantasize about without ever wanting it to be anything other than a fantasy.”

He took a sip of his drink. “If you've been reading much of the drivel on the Internet, then I'll quickly clarify the way I play. It'll always just be you and me. No bondage clubs, no sharing you with friends, nothing in public, none of that crap. I don't do needles or blood, I won't lock you in a cage for hours on end, you won't have to call me Master, and you certainly will be expected to make eye contact. Let's see, what else? I don't do humiliation. No peeing on each other, or anything in that spectrum. Hmm. What am I forgetting?”

That little speech had answered most of my questions, and quelled most of my disquiet. “Will I have a safe word?” I asked.

“If you want one...” he answered. “You haven't done this before, right?”

I shook my head.

“I'll stop if you say no, Maya. It's pretty simple.”

I knew he would. I took another sip of my drink, and met his eyes bravely. “And when will we play?”

Our meals arrived. Ryan looked at me, and smiled wickedly. “Oh, we'll play tonight, Maya. Eat up. You're going to need your energy.”

At his words, I shivered.

The food was delicious, but it might as well have been lumps of coal for all the attention I paid it. I was nervous. Sure, I was also aroused, but for the moment, the emotion that was uppermost in my mind was nervousness. It wasn't the promise of the coming sex, it was the thought that Ryan would find me cold and frigid in bed. With Anthony, I'd been able to pretend interest, but I knew that I couldn't fool Ryan. I dreaded being inadequate. He'd smile his mocking smile, and his eyes would be expressionless, but underneath, he'd be bored out of his mind, wishing he was in bed with anyone else.

“Maya?” Ryan's voice cut in softly. He sounded concerned. “Are you okay? What's wrong? We don't have to do this if you don't want to.”

“No, I want to do this.” I said firmly.

“Then I need to know what you are nervous about, Maya. If we are to play tonight, you need to be honest with me. We can't play safely if I can't trust you to tell me what you are feeling.”

I loved the way he said my name. Maya. There was a caress in his voice when he said it, and heat spread to my sex. I searched my mind for what to say to him, and settled for a variant of the truth. No mention of how I felt nothing when Anthony and I had sex. That would just freak him out, but he'd still feel obligated to have sex with me, and I didn't want pity sex. “I don't have a lot of experience... I'm concerned I won't measure up.”

He smiled warmly, and reached out and took my hands in his. “You'll be fine, don't worry.”  Such was the magic of the Ryan Clayborn smile, that for the rest of the meal, I believed him, and my worries vanished.

Chapter 3

Our final destination of the evening wasn't far from the restaurant. Ryan pulled up in front of a small cottage, turned off the car engine, and faced me. “I've wanted to do this all evening...” he said quietly, as he leaned forward and kissed me.

I'd had a crush on Ryan Clayborn for over ten years. That kiss... it was worth every minute of the wait.

One of his hands was at the back of my head, entwined through my hair, pulling me towards him. His fingers grazed my check, gently outlining the shape of my jaw, and then his fingers were on my lips, tracing their shape, feeling their softness. I moaned softly, daringly sucking his finger into my mouth. And then, his mouth was on mine, hard and insistent, demanding that I yield. My mouth opened, my tongue entwined with his. I gave myself completely, openly, letting my need shine through.

“Inside?” he asked, finally pulling away. There was a noticeable bulge in his pants; I couldn’t tear my eyes away from it. He saw my gaze, and reached out and grabbed my hand, placing it on his hard bulge. I stroked him through the fabric of his pants, my pussy dripping as I heard him growl in arousal.

“Inside…” he repeated, his voice hoarse with need.

We went in. I looked around in curiosity.

“It's a friend's place,” he said. “I borrow it from time to time to write in.”

Also to have sex in? I wondered, but didn't comment. The butterflies had reappeared in my stomach.

The inside of the cottage was lovely. There was an open concept kitchen/living space on one side, a king-size bed in the other, and one of the walls was mostly window, which looked out to the ocean.

Ryan drew me towards the bed. “Ready to play, Maya?” he asked. His breathing was steady again, he was back to his usual half-mocking, half-amused composure, but my courage was fortified by his erection, and I boldly reached out and traced the outline of his manhood through his pants.

“I think we're both ready, don't you?” I said softly.

Ryan laughed. “Oh no, no, Maya. We play by my rules here... You wanted a safeword earlier, no? Your safeword will be red. Got it?” His words were serious, but his voice was amused.

“Red.” I repeated.

“Stand still.” Ryan moved to stand in front of me. His right hand reached out, and very softly stroked the side of my left breast. I moaned, and leaned towards him.

He stopped instantly. “Nope. Stand still, Maya. You obey, we continue. Okay?”

Crap. This was going to be hard. I wanted to feel his entire body pressed up against mine. I wanted to kneel and take his cock into my mouth. I wanted to pleasure him and feel him pleasure me. I most definitely did not want to stand still. But stand still I did. His tone had left no room for disobedience.

I nodded.

His hands didn't resume touching my breasts. He instead moved around to my back, and very lightly traced the chain holding the dress together. The ends of the chain were clasped together, and he pulled me very slightly into him in order to unclasp the chain.

“I'm assuming that if I unclasp this, the dress comes undone?” he asked.

I nodded again. My body was screaming in arousal, and I didn't trust myself to speak.

“Cat got your tongue, Maya?” Again, that tone of amusement. “Ah, there it goes.” Clasp undone, the dress fell to my waist. Ryan found the zipper and unzipped the rest of the dress, and guided me out of it.

The dress had been backless, and I had therefore elected to skip wearing a bra. I was clad in the tiniest pair of lacy panties, and nothing else. Goosebumps instantly appeared all over my body, as I fought to resist the temptation to cover my breasts.

“Good girl. Hands at your sides, please.” Ryan's voice was level and low-key, but there was no pretending that that wasn't an order. I did as I was told. He smiled warmly in approval of my obedience. God, that smile! It was no wonder women threw themselves at him. That smile was a drug, addictive and potent. I would do whatever he wanted, as long as he kept smiling at me.

His hands were at the side of my breasts again, stroking very lightly, stoking the fire of my arousal. I was shaking slightly, and fighting the desire to lean into him again. His fingers gradually traced their way to my breasts, now cupping them very slightly, squeezing them gently... it was incredibly erotic. I closed my eyes.

“Nope. Eyes open, please Maya.” His voice was curt. I instantly opened my eyes.

“Sorry,” I muttered.

“You're doing great, Maya.” he said, smiling at me. “Come on...”

He tugged me towards the bed, and pushed me down on it. It was not gentle, but it wasn't rough either. It was simply firm. Just like Ryan. There was no raised voice; there was instead calm and the expectation that he would be obeyed instantly. I was so turned on by this, by Ryan's firm handling. I didn't really recognize myself. “Why am I so aroused by this?” I thought fleetingly. “I should be outraged.” But there was no hiding the arousal. My pussy was dripping; I had never been wetter in my life.

“Spread your legs, Maya.”

Fuck. He was going to find out how very, very turned-on I was. I was mortified. My panties were soaked with the evidence of my arousal. I hesitated briefly.

“Maya. You will get punished if I have to repeat myself.” There was ice in his voice.

I quickly parted my legs. I didn't know what my punishment would be, but it didn't sound good. Relax, I told myself. You trust Ryan. You have a safeword. It will be fine.

“These are the sexiest panties, Maya.”, Ryan remarked, conversationally, as he put his fingers in the waistband, and tugged down. “But, I think they really are rather superfluous at this point, don't you think?”

I moaned my agreement, as the panties slid down my hips, past my legs, and were tossed unthinkingly across the room.

Ryan wasn't paying attention to me though, he was just looking, transfixed at my pussy. I had shaved it mostly bare that day, leaving one tiny landing strip.

“For fuck's sake, Maya, this isn't playing fair...” he muttered, as his mouth descended on my pussy.

Okay, all this while, the entire last two years, the year I was dating Anthony and having horribly indifferent sex, and the subsequent year when I was beating myself up about the lacklustre sex - if it were possible to erase all of that in one powerful moment of utter arousal and sexual responsiveness, this was the moment. The instant when Ryan's mouth met my pussy for the first time. His tongue licked my pussy in long sweeps, pausing to flick my clitoris at the end in a move that had me gripping the covers of the bed to try to ride out the overwhelming intensity. He continued that rhythm as my orgasm built. I just clenched the covers, and held on for dear life. It was all too much to bear, too intense; I didn't think I could take it... I was moaning louder, I was begging without realizing it.... my hips were thrusting into Ryan's willing mouth...

“Too fast.” Ryan moved his mouth away from my pussy, and softly bit my inside thigh. I moaned again.

“Please,” I begged, desperate for him to continue. I was so close to an orgasm. “Please...”

“All in due time...” Ryan said, moving off the bed. He stood at the edge of the bed, and looked at my naked body.

“I don't really take a bag of whips and chains where ever I go...” he said, his lips twitching. “And there isn't a large selection of sex toy stores in this town. Not to mention the storm of gossip I would set off. So, we'll have to improvise a little, but we'll manage to make it work, okay?”

I wasn't really listening to him; I was just wishing he would take his clothes off. I was riveted by the outline of his crotch, and I wanted it in my mouth.

“Maya. I think that one of the rules of the game is that you need to listen when I talk...” Again, amusement. “Some punishment seems to be in order.”

Now he had my attention. “Punishment?” I asked warily. I just wanted him to touch my pussy again. “I just want you to touch my pussy again...” I realized I'd said that out aloud, and I flushed, mortified. I felt my entire face go beet-red with embarrassment.

Ryan chuckled. “In due time, kitten,” he said. He kicked off his shoes, and sat on the bed, leaning against the headboard. “Come lie down across me please, on your stomach. That delectable ass of yours is about to get a bit more colour...”

I obeyed and lay on Ryan's lap, face-down. He positioned me so that my ass was on his lap, which meant my pussy could grind against his hardness, and I fully intended to take advantage of that.

“Mmm. As wonderful as it would feel to have you grind all over my dick, Maya, I think you need to hold still. No grinding, please.”

Damn it. Every nerve ending in my body was on fire, I was pressed right on his crotch, and I was expected to just lie there quietly? I pouted in protest.

“Remember your safeword, if you need this to stop, Maya,” Ryan said, as he brought his hand down on my backside. I clenched my ass in shock, but in truth, he hadn't hit me that hard. The sting of the spank was fading, and his hand was stroking my ass.

His hand rose again, and came down on my ass. Crack. I clenched my ass automatically. He'd hit me harder this time, and I bit my lip to avoid crying out.

“You can cry out if you'd like...” Ryan read my thoughts, as he caressed my ass, waiting for me to relax my muscles.

Crack. Crack. Crack. Three quick blows, landing on the fleshiest part of my right buttock. “Owww...” I cried out, and my hands moved to cover my ass.

“Nope.” Ryan's voice was firm, and his other hand grabbed mine, and pulled it away. “Take your punishment, Maya.”

His hand had resumed its stroking of my ass, and it moved lower, towards my pussy. I obligingly parted my legs slightly, as he pushed a finger into my tight pussy. I couldn't help myself; I pushed myself into his hand, trying to get more of his finger inside me.

Crack. Crack. Left buttock this time. These were the hardest spanks yet, and they hurt. I yelled out. The heat radiated outwards from my ass, flowing through the rest of my body.

“Like I said. Hold still, Maya.” Ryan's voice was even. My pussy gushed. I didn't understand why or how, but the firmer Ryan was with me, the more turned on I got.

He resumed spanking me, and I held as still as I could. I probably cried out, but he would fondle my ass between spanks, and occasionally thrust a finger into my aching pussy. It all blended together, the pain and the pleasure, the hardness of his dick pressed against my lower stomach; I was reduced to just feeling; I was floating...

The spanks stopped. Now, Ryan was just stroking my ass gently. My skin felt hot and flushed, but the pain was fading, and the heat in my ass echoed the wet molten heat of my pussy.

“How are you holding up, kitten?”

“Ryan, please.” I was face-down on his lap, and I wanted nothing more than his dick inside my pussy. “Please, I want you inside me...” I was begging now...

All evening long, he'd set the pace, his control impeccable, but finally, I could feel it falter. He rolled me off him, and quickly stripped off his clothes. I felt him reach for a condom, and then he was on top of me and he thrust into me in one fluid, hard, hot stroke.

That was all I needed. I’d been on the brink of orgasm for the last few hours, and I came instantly, shuddering and buckling. My nails dug into Ryan's back, and I clung to him as the waves of pleasure washed over me. He held himself still as I buckled underneath him, quaking all over, my hands digging into his shoulder until the contractions of my pussy against his cock eased, and I slowly floated back to earth.

Ryan had remained still while I came, but as I quieted, he started to thrust into me, long deep strokes that impossibly were awakening the lust in me yet again. “Hold on, kitten,” he said, teeth clenched, as he ground into my pussy. My hands gripped his shoulders, and I moved my hips up to meet his thrusts. I was moaning near constantly, my pussy was gripping his cock, and when Ryan found my clitoris and gave it a gentle flick, I screamed in utter lust, as another orgasm washed over me. Ryan thrust into me, hard, fast, and exploded into me with a groan.

“Mmm.” All I could do was purr. My body was utterly drained by the lust that had swept through it. Ryan moved to get off me.

“No…” I protested, as I wrapped my legs around his. “Stay for a bit, I like the way you feel…” His weight was pressed against me, and it was amazing. It made me feel soft and fragile.

We stayed that way for a while, but we had to head back, of course. My family wasn’t a particularly nosy bunch, but if both Ryan and me didn’t come back home for a night, eyebrows would definitely be raised. It was 2 am, and it was late enough.

We were quiet on the car ride back. I was still processing everything that had happened. It had been the most amazing sex I had had in my life. I had loved Ryan’s firm commands. Were those two things intertwined? Did I need someone to dominate me, was that why Anthony never did anything for me? It was all too much to process.

As we pulled into the driveway, I had one important question for Ryan. One that I was too nervous to ask, really. Thankfully, he asked it for me. “Want to play again, Maya?” Was that hesitation in his voice?

“Yes!” I answered, emphatically. There was no hesitation in mine. “Yes please, I’d love to play again.”

Chapter 4

The next couple of days were surreal. I went through the motions of the family vacation. I hung out on the beach with my sisters and cousins. We played volleyball. We went out one night, just the girls, to a new craft brewery that had opened up in town. All through this activity, my mind was wondering – when next? When would the next play session with Ryan be?

Just when I thought I couldn’t take it anymore, I got a text from Ryan at 4pm that evening. “Tonight? Meet me by the car at 11pm.”

I texted back a one-word reply. “Okay.”

It had been a tiring day. I’d gone for a run in the morning, trying to burn up some of the restless energy I was feeling. Once I got back, I’d played a game of beach volleyball. Lunch was delicious, and post-lunch, I’d been roped into helping my grandmother weed the garden. By the time I received the text, I was a hot, tired mess.

A nap, followed by a long, hot shower restored me, and by the time 11pm had rolled around, I was actually awake and ready to go.

“Hello Maya.” Ryan’s voice greeted me as I walked towards the driveway.

“Ryan.” I said. My voice was meant to sound calm. Instead, it was soft with need I could not hide.

He didn’t kiss me this time. We walked together to the car, and in about twenty minutes, we were back at the cottage, the scene of our earlier session…

“Ready, Maya?”

This was going to be harder. The last time, Ryan had been reassuring and kind. This time around, so far, he was being curt. It was making me nervous. Some of it must have shown in my face, because he reached out and gently stroked my cheek.

“Relax, kitten. It’s just a game. Follow the rules, remember your safeword.”

I nodded. I wanted this, I reminded myself. Our first session had been the best sex I’d ever had. I had masturbated to that memory last night, and I had come to the kind of shuddering release that I thought only happened to other people. It had been amazing.

“Strip.”

A one word command. I gulped, but obeyed. I took off my black dress, then my bra and panties. I stepped out of the panties nervously, and kept my eyes lowered.

“Eye contact, please, Maya.”

Damn him. Fine. He’d have eye contact. I looked into his eyes, doing my best to keep my emotions hidden. His lips quirked.

Ryan didn’t stay to savour my discomfort. He wandered around the cottage, lighting dozens of candles, and then turning off the main light switch. The cottage was suddenly bathed in the golden glow of candlelight. In a different context, it would have been amazingly romantic. But I was standing naked in front of a fully clothed Ryan Clayborn, and I was embarrassed not by my nakedness, but by my quick compliance with his orders.

“We increase the intensity today, Maya. I happened to visit a hardware store today, and hardware stores are great for emergency bondage supplies…”

I gulped.

He looked at me thoughtfully. “It’s probably best if you sit…” he muttered, almost to himself. He pulled a straight-backed chair forward.

“Sit.”

I sat, my thighs close together, on the chair.

“Thighs open, please. Spread your legs wide, Maya.”

I felt my entire body heat up with embarrassment and heat. My treacherous pussy was moist with need. As it had during our previous session, my body was responding to his firmness.

He reached into a shopping bag on the counter, and pulled a long length of cloth rope from it.

“I’m going to tie you to the chair, Maya.”

His announcements of what was going to happen just served to increase my arousal.

He moved towards the chair, and expertly tied my hands behind my back. Had it been anyone other than Ryan, I would have been very nervous. Since it was Ryan, I was aroused mostly. But I was a tiny bit nervous.

“Now the legs…” Ryan said, and tied my lower legs and ankles to the chair’s two front legs. This held them wide open; I couldn’t close my legs together if I wanted to. My nervousness increased.  Ryan just grinned wickedly.

“Did you like the pain, when I spanked you?” he asked conversationally. I could have screamed. I was aroused, my pussy was dripping, and all I wanted him to do was touch me.

But I thought about what he asked. “I think I did. I liked that you touched me at the same time… not just spanked me. It made it really erotic…”

“Good. Well, I neglected your breasts tremendously the other day, and I’m quite determined to fix that today.” Ryan remarked. “This will hurt, but we’ll see if we can find a way to ease the pain…”

I looked at him, hesitantly. What did he have planned?

He reached his hand out to cup my breasts, one at a time, flicking his fingers over my nipples. They instantly hardened. He pinched them, first gently, then harder, pulling my nipples away from my breasts and twisting them in his fingers. I winced slightly, but at the same time, I could feel my pussy juices run.

He rummaged again in the shopping bag, and brought out a package of clothespins. “Nipple clamps, hardware store style,” he commented. “I actually think I prefer clothespins – you can get more of them on…”

“Now Maya, this package has 24 clothespins in it. I’m going to see how many I can put on your breasts… And I’d be really pleased if you take them all, okay?”

“Okay,” I said, swallowing. “What happens if I safeword?”

He stopped what he was doing, and crouched forward. “If you safeword, we’ll stop, discuss what the problem is and resolve it. If you say No, same thing. Okay?” He smiled at me, all warm reassurance. I nodded.

I bit my lip as he put the first pin on my right nipple. It hurt. I moaned. Ryan’s hands were tracing small circles around my nipples though, easing the pain.

“Relax your muscles; let the pain flow through you.”

I carefully exhaled. I hadn’t realized I had been holding my breath.

He put the next one on my left nipple, and once again gently caressed my breasts. Pleasure and pain coursed through me.

The third and fourth pins were placed on my right breast, above my nipple. I drew my breath in sharply. This hurt, a lot.

“Relax…” Ryan soothed. He went down on his knees in front of me, and bent his head towards my pussy. His tongue reached out and licked a long line down the slit. “I think you like this, don’t you, Maya? You are soaking wet.”

I flushed. I couldn’t hide the evidence of my arousal from Ryan. He continued to place the fifth and sixth pins on my left breast, matching the ones on the right. My hands clenched into fists. Breathe, I told myself.

The seventh, eighth and ninth pins completed the circle around my right nipple, and the tenth, eleventh and twelfth did the same for my left. I shrieked in pain. Ryan had put these on quickly, without stopping to rub my breasts.

“Ryan,” I whimpered. It hurt. I wanted him to touch my pussy.

“Hush…” he said, one finger stroking my lips. “You are doing so well, Maya.” His fingers softly stroked my swollen and tender breasts. I winced in the anticipation of pain, but the pins just amplified the feeling in my breasts, and his fingers felt hot on my clamped nipples. I moaned again.

 “I know, kitten…” he said softly. His fingers traced soft circles on my pussy, and I held very still. I didn’t want him to stop.

He knelt in front of me again, inserting two fingers into my wet, waiting pussy. His mouth was on my pussy, flicking my clitoris with his tongue, sucking it very gently into his mouth. I wanted to thrust my hips into his hands, but he’d done his job well; I couldn’t move my hips. I groaned helplessly. My arousal was building, and I was quickly approaching orgasm.

Just as I approached the edge though, he stopped. “No!” I muttered. “Not fair!”

Ryan grinned. “Life’s not always fair, Maya. Case in point…” He showed me the three clothespins in his hand. “I know it seems like you have plenty on already, and your breasts must be really sore… but we aren’t done here, are we?”

I groaned, but nodded for him to continue. I was floating, I could feel the pain, yet somehow, I was outside of the pain. All I wanted to do was follow Ryan’s instructions.

The three clothespins in his hand started the second ring of clothespins around my right nipple, three others completed the ring. Ryan stood back, and admired his handiwork. I wondered what he saw. My hair was damp with sweat, any make up I had on must have smeared by this time. I was probably a mess.

“You should see yourself, Maya. You are so hot right now…” Ryan said. “Just a bit more…” The final six clothespins from the package were placed on my left breast.

I could feel my breasts throbbing. They were red and inflamed, with the two rings of clothespins around my nipples. The pain pulsed through me. My hands were clenched into fists behind my back.

“Good girl.” Ryan’s voice was warm with approval. He smiled at me, and kissed my lips tenderly. His hands softly cupped the underside of my breasts.

“Now, you’ve earned a reward,” he said, as he again knelt in front of my hot, swollen, gushing pussy, and lowered his mouth onto it. I was wet, open and ready. His tongue skillfully brought me to orgasm, and I cried out as I started to quake, my pussy clenching around his fingers. Waves of pleasure washed over me, but he didn’t slow down, he kept licking my wet slit, alternatingly flicking and sucking my clitoris, pumping his fingers in and out of my pussy. My moans grew more continuous. “Please…Ryan, please” I begged incoherently, “please don’t stop…” I kept coming in waves for what seemed like hours, but was in real life undoubtedly only a few minutes.

I don’t think I passed out, or maybe I did. When I came to awareness, Ryan was untying the ropes around my wrists and my legs. I moved my hands gingerly. They were stiff, and my muscles were screaming in pain.

“I’ll take care of your arms in a moment, but first, we need to get these pins off, Maya. And this will hurt.” He quickly removed the pins, and I shrieked as the blood coursed through my breasts. I looked down; my breasts were blotched with patches of angry red where the clothespins had bit them.

Ryan leaned in and kissed me very gently. I was shaking in exhaustion. “Come,” he said, carrying me from the chair, and depositing me on the bed. He joined me, and very gently started stroking my breasts, soothing them with his fingertips. It felt incredible. I fell asleep under his tender ministrations.

**************

It was dark when I woke up; almost all the candles had burned themselves down. Ryan was asleep on the bed next to me, naked. I looked at him greedily in the gloom, drinking in the sight of his firm body. He looked so relaxed in his sleep; his usual amused-mocking look missing. I reached out, unable to stop myself, and traced the outline of his jaw with my fingers.

His eyes opened. “Hello,” he said, still sleepy.

“Hello,” I replied, softly, moving my entire body closer to his. I wanted to feel Ryan against every inch of me.

He quickly grabbed me, and lifted me on top of him, so that I was lying on top of him. I rested my head on his chest.

“Do your breasts hurt?” Ryan asked.

“Just a tiny bit tender…” I replied. “No bathing suit for me tomorrow, I guess.”

“The forecast calls for rain.” Ryan replied, sounding amused, and just a tiny bit smug. “I’m not entirely inconsiderate, you know.”

I laughed. “That’s seriously impressive planning…”

“Mmm-hmm.” Ryan shifted me slightly, and stroked my hips lightly. I could feel his erection growing against my inner thigh. I grinned to myself; I was about to be very naughty.

I sat up, still astride Ryan, grabbed his erect cock and guided it to my wet, waiting pussy. I eased down on his cock, just a tiny bit… “Want to play some more, Ryan?” I teased.

His lips quirked; his hands reached out to rest on my hips. “You do like to live dangerously, don’t you, Maya?”

I clenched my vaginal muscles very slightly in response. His hands tightened on my hips. “Good,” I thought. I liked knowing that I could make him lose his firmly-held self-control, even if just a little bit.

His eyes met mine. Was I looking for permission to continue? Somewhat, but not exactly. I guess I was looking for a sign that Ryan would welcome my taking the lead. I loved Ryan’s firmness, but I was never going to totally surrender my identity to become a pliant submissive. Sometimes, I wanted to break the rules…

Ryan smiled at me. There was no mockery in his gaze, it was straightforward, and for the first time, I could see the need in his eyes. “Maya...”

That was all I needed. I eased myself down on Ryan’s hard dick, lifted myself up, and back down again. His hands on my hips guided me, but he let me set the rhythm. I moved against him steadily, my hands clutching his waist. Need arose within me, and waves of pleasure started to engulf me. I ground my pussy down on Ryan, rotating very slightly to maximize the sensations coursing through me. His right hand left my hips, and he started stroking my clitoris as I moved against him.

That was all it took; I exploded, coming hard, the muscles of my vagina clenching against his dick. Ryan urged me to keep moving, now setting the rhythm, not letting me waver – his hand on my hips urging me to keep shifting against his dick. I ground my nails into his biceps as sensation flooded through me; it was all too much to bear, I couldn’t continue; I couldn’t stop, but my hips kept moving. “Ride it out, Maya,” Ryan urged; his hand softly pinched my clitoris as I climaxed again in a wave of colour and sensation that left me drained.

I collapsed against Ryan’s chest, and slowly returned to awareness. Ryan was still inside of me, I could feel every inch of him in me. He lifted me off him, as I moaned in protest. “Hang on for a second, kitten,” he said. I could feel him reach over and grab a condom from the nightstand.

“Ok, Maya, my rules now. Get on your knees, please, with your face on the bed.” I did as I was told as Ryan thrust hard into me. “I’m not going to last very long, Maya,” he said ruefully, pounding into me. My hands clenched in the sheets as he moved against me, fast and hard. Flickers of warmth were flowing again from my pussy into the rest of my body, and I thrust back against him.
“Fuck, Maya,” Ryan groaned, as he came, grabbing my hips and holding me firmly against his body.

We collapsed on the bed, and lay next to each other for a while. My mind was hazy; I was too satiated to be able to form coherent thoughts. Ryan was silent at my side. Slowly, peacefully, I fell asleep once again.

Chapter 5

In total, Ryan and I had five ‘play sessions’ during the two weeks of vacation. After the night with the clothespins, we stayed away from each other for almost four days. But then, like a candle to a moth, I sent him a text message requesting another session.

That time, I was tied up with my hands behind my back, kneeling, taking Ryan’s length in my mouth. Ryan had, in consideration for my knees, placed a pillow on the floor. He came in my mouth; I swallowed with pleasure. It was funny, I had gone down on Anthony, but I had always refused to swallow. With Ryan, everything was different. His pleasure became my pleasure.

The time after that, I was gagged for the first time, as Ryan went down on me for what seemed like hours, always stopping right before I came. With the gag in my mouth, I couldn’t beg and plead with him to let me come; all I could do was whimper in arousal. He was in perfect control of my body; I would come on his terms, when he wanted; I had very little say in the matter. It was amazing –all I could do was feel every inch of his tongue on my pussy, playing it like a finely tuned instrument.

The last time was the strangest. Our vacation was almost coming to an end. In two days, we’d all leave the estate. I thought I’d be tied down, spanked, gagged, clamped, or some combination of all the above, but instead, we just made sweet, gentle love. Ryan seemed pensive, and his mood influenced mine. After the lovemaking, I lay for hours, nestled in his arms, listening to the sound of his breathing as he slept. I couldn’t fall asleep. During the last two weeks, my life in San Francisco had receded. But now our little interlude was over, and I couldn’t quite imagine what was next.

**************

It was the last full day of our vacation; most people would be leaving the next day. We were having one final family barbeque. Ivar and Ryan were tending to the meat; Marco and his sister Nina were chopping veggies for a salad. My sisters Julia and Rosa were lazing in the pool. I grabbed a beer and moved to sit next to my grandmother.

The one thing that was a constant in the Martinez clan – we all adored my grandparents. They had raised us when our parents had died in a plane crash. They were good-humoured, generous and kind, and they doted on each other.

“Hello grandma,” I said. “Can I get you a drink?”

“A glass of white wine, please, Maya.” My grandmother smiled at me.

I got her a glass of wine, and settled down in a lawn chair by her side. “Another excellent vacation, grandma.” I said. “It’s so relaxing here; the two weeks have just flown by…”

My grandmother beamed. “It’s going to be so quiet with all of you gone, Maya. But luckily, Ryan told me last night he’s sticking around to write. He won’t be staying with us, he never does, but he’s promised to drop by to eat dinner with us most nights, which will be nice.” She gazed at him fondly.

“I worry about Ryan,” she continued, sipping at her wine. “He’s never at home, always on these book tours, and when he’s not on a tour, he’s training for a race; how much time does that give him to meet a nice woman and settle down?”

I laughed at my grandmother. Seeing her family settled down was a bit of an obsession for her. “I’m sure Ryan has no difficulty meeting women, grandma.”

“Mmm. But after that dreadful woman, Patricia, broke his heart, he’s been so reluctant to trust again…” My grandmother sounded sad, lost in the past. Then she shook herself, and looked at me. “Sorry, Maya. You were too young when all that happened. I shouldn’t have said anything, its Ryan’s story, not mine. Tell me, what’s happening in your life? Does Ivar give you any time away from work to meet some nice young men?”

My brain was reeling. Who was Patricia? I’d never heard of her before. I mumbled something to my grandmother about dating, but I was lost in thought. There was a reason why Ryan was never in a relationship? I hadn’t known.

Ryan walked over to the two of us, holding a plate of burgers in his hand. “Come on, ladies,” he chided. “Less talking, more eating. Grab your burgers while they are hot…”

“I was just telling Maya how quiet it’s going to be here when all of you are gone, and how glad I am that you will be staying for a little while longer,” my grandmother said, reaching for a burger. “Where will you be staying, Ryan? At Gayla’s cottage?”

My stomach dropped. The friend Ryan borrowed a cottage from was a woman? Perhaps a lover? I was startled to realize I was upset and jealous. With Anthony, I had never been jealous, even when women had obviously flirted with him. With Ryan, my insides were roiling at the idea of this mysterious Gayla.

“Maya, are you listening?” my grandmother’s voice interrupted my thoughts. “Do you want a burger?”

“Oh, yes. Sorry, Ryan.” I grabbed a burger and quickly left to get some burger fixings. I didn’t want Ryan to see that I was upset.

“What’s the matter, Maya?” Ryan had followed me.

I shook my head, refusing to meet his eyes. For some strange reason, I was close to tears. “Nothing.”

He looked at me, but everyone was around, and there was little he could do. “You leave tomorrow evening, right? I’ll give you a ride to the airport, ok?”

“Okay.” I said. I didn’t want to prolong this conversation. I set my plate down, and fled to the bathroom.

In the bathroom, I splashed some water on my face, and gave myself a stern talking-to. “Idiot,” I chided myself. “What was that about? You knew the score – it was always just a vacation hook-up. So he sleeps with other women too, why are you upset by this?”

There was a knock on the door. It was my sister Rosa. “Maya, is something the matter?”

I looked in the mirror. My reflection looked back, calmer than I felt. “Sorry, Rosa,” I apologised smoothly, opening the door. “Beer always makes me run to the bathroom. Do you need the bathroom?” I was proud of my even voice.

She looked at me curiously. “I thought you looked upset,” she said.

“Upset?” I laughed. “Just the usual end of vacation blues. When’s your flight out tomorrow?”

The rest of the barbeque passed without event. I kept a very firm control on my emotions, eschewing the beer for water, making sure to keep all my wits about me. My family was not stupid, and I didn’t want them to find out about my fling with Ryan. I laughed and chatted; I ate burgers and assembled ice-cream sandwiches for dessert, and I bottled my emotions for later analysis.

**************

I was not looking forward to my car ride with Ryan to the airport. Most of the family had left in the morning, all on different flights. My own flight was the last one out, in the early evening. I bid farewell to my grandparents, and grabbed my bag.

“Here, let me,” Ryan took my bag from my hand, lifting it easily, and putting it in the truck of the Porsche.

We had left pretty early, there were over three hours to go for my flight, and I was already checked in. We had two hours to kill. I wasn’t really sure what we were going to do, and I was afraid Ryan would start probing into the cause of my distress at the barbeque. 

The car pulled in into a parking lot. I recognized the Thai restaurant we’d eaten at two weeks ago.

“I thought we’d eat lunch and talk,” Ryan announced. I looked nervous. I didn’t want Ryan to know I was jealous of the unknown Gayla; that I was consumed with curiosity about the mysterious Patricia. I was close to breaking the only rule; I was acting like a jealous girlfriend.

“Okay, Maya. Out with it, what’s bothering you?” Ryan asked, without preamble once we were seated.

“Nothing.” I mumbled into my glass of water.

“Liar.”

“Okay.” I was suddenly angry. Yes, I didn’t have any right to feel this way, but it made me feel weird to think that I’d made love to Ryan on the same bed as another woman. I wasn’t planning on telling him this, but since he was insistent, he could hear the truth.

“Who’s Gayla?” I asked.

“Gayla is my agent.” Ryan replied, puzzled. Suddenly his eyes sharpened. “Hang on… you think I’ve slept with Gayla at the cottage?”

I nodded. I didn’t meet his eyes.

“Look at me, Maya.” His voice was even. I couldn’t tell if he was angry with me.

I looked up.

“Gayla’s a good friend and an excellent agent, nothing more. I’ve used her cottage to write in for the eight or nine years… The last book did very well, and Gayla’s been itching to sell the cottage for a bit now… I’m in the process of buying it; the deal’s pretty much done. I would never have taken a woman there while it was Gayla’s cottage; that wouldn’t have been right.”

“Oh.” I said, very quietly. “I’m sorry; I have no right to probe.”

 “No you don’t.” He sighed.

“Maya.” There was hesitation in his voice; he seemed to be searching for the right words. “We don’t make sense. You are twenty-one. You live in San Francisco. I live in Paris; I’m ten years older than you.”

He took a sip of his drink. “The last two weeks have been…unexpected. This was supposed to be a simple vacation hook-up, but I think we both got a little more involved than we should have.”

“Go back to your life, Maya. This shouldn’t have happened, forget that it ever did.”

I took a sip of my drink. I was close to tears. He was right. We didn’t make sense. But it was hard to remember that, when all I could do was remember how warm and secure I felt in his arms; how my body had sung when he touched me.

With difficulty, I strove for calm. I wouldn’t turn into a weeping bundle in front of Ryan. I would beg in bed, but I had too much pride to beg otherwise. But I was hurt, and I needed to hurt back.

“Still, it was a fun two weeks, right?” I smiled, my heart breaking on the inside with each word I spoke. “It was very educational. I had no idea I’d enjoy the whips and chains stuff so much.” I took a fortifying sip of my drink. “Any advice on how I go about finding someone who plays like that in San Francisco?”

He looked at me. For the first time, for a brief second, I saw anger in his eyes. His hands clenched around the stem of his glass.

But only for an instant. The next instant, he smiled easily, his eyes expressionless. “Be smart. Stay away from the bondage clubs, be careful what you reveal on the internet. If the tabloids find out, they’ll have a field day with it. Above all, remember to be safe.”

We said our farewells at the airport. I insisted I could manage my bags, and that Ryan just needed to drop me off curbside. He acquiesced. I think he was happy to see the last of me.

I thought about what he’d said about finding another partner. It was all good advice; advice I would have absolutely taken, if I had any intention of seeking out someone else to play with. But something told me that my days of spanks, gags, cuffs and clothespins were over. I had obeyed Ryan in bed because I respected and trusted him in a way that I couldn’t imagine with anyone else.

I remembered myself, just two short weeks ago. How much of a mess I was. How convinced I’d been that I was someone who was incapable of sexual pleasure. And I thought about how much pleasure Ryan had given me, and how much weight he’d taken off my shoulders. I didn’t want to leave off our conversation on the note we’d left it off. He deserved gratitude, not my anger and hurt.

One final text then. It was time for some honesty. I wrote a quick note just as I was boarding the plane, and hit send before I had a chance to edit myself.

The sex was terrible with my last boyfriend; I thought it was my fault; I had never orgasmed with him. I should have told you. Thank you for an amazing two weeks, but also for showing me it wasn’t me. Maya.

The stewardess came around as I was looking at my phone. “You need to turn your phone off, Miss,” she said, politely, but firmly. I nodded, and turned my phone off; it would prevent me from obsessively checking if he’d replied.

My plane took off, taking me away from Ryan, and towards San Francisco.

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Teaching Maya (A BDSM Romance Novel)

By Tara Crescent

Continue reading Chapters 6-10 on my blog... Or, if you like what you read, please consider buying the book and leaving a review on the Kindle store!